Cheers

Friday night - more martinis! Actually it's not a martini, more like a tequila cosmopolitan. Y'all know how I like my tequila.

Between the cocktail and M from VT's advice that nothing ever takes as long as you think it will take, and therefore there is far less wedding stuff to stress about than I originally thought, things are looking a little less tense.


We were supposed to head to Albany this evening for my Albany bridal shower and my second dress fitting, but B had a crisis at work that delayed the travel plans. So we'll brave the terrible thunder storms tomorrow and get on the road early. In the meantime, Miles says hello from his favorite hiding place - under the sheets.

Presence? What presence?

Where the crap is all that internal peace that I was writing about yesterday? Huh? Where!?

Soooo.... it would seem that the fact that the wedding is FAST approaching and I only have two weeks left of my job (gulp) is getting the best of me. And since everything for the wedding weekend is required to be there a week early, in my mind the wedding is only two weeks away as well.

All of my sweet friends keep asking me if I'm excited. Excited? Talk to me on the Monday before the wedding and I'll probably be exploding with annoying clouds of happiness, tiny fairies will be dancing around my feet, and little flecks of glitter will appear in my eyes... but not yet.

Until then, my brain pretty much sounds like this (read it at warp speed for full effect): How are we this close and still haven't planned the actual ceremony yet? Isn't that the whole point of the day?? What the hell am I going to wear on my feet and why doesn't anywhere on the internet have the damn shoes I wanted. Sh&t... we're going on a honeymoon... on a beach. We need things to wear on the beach. Are we idiots to be taking dance lessons 12 days before the wedding? Maybe we just won't tell anyone we took them, then we're off the hook. When in god's name is B going to write that one thing I asked him to write six months ago? Oh no. We're leaving for three days and forgot to see if anyone can check on the cats. Why is it that dishes and laundry never stop? Why! (and on, and on, and on...)

A place of eternal presence

Sometimes at night I fall into bed with at least another 4 minutes of awake-time left in my bones. When I'm smart, I use those 4 minutes to get through another few pages of my book - Eat, Pray, Love. I'm reading it at a glacial pace, so I'll probably be talking about it when B and I send our first kid off to college.

When I mentioned it before, the author was in Italy, now she is in India. I read a really beautiful passage last night that I wanted to share. The thoughts are in reference to Yoga, but they obviously don't have to be. They're good words to live by in general:

Yoga is the effort to experience one's divinity personally and then to hold on to that experience forever. Yoga is about self-mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise. Only from that point of even-mindedness will the true nature of the world (and yourself) be revealed to you.

Shoe Miracle

I experienced a shoe miracle this weekend. B and I went to DSW after dropping my brother off at the airport and I found these little babies in the clearance section. I've been calling them my Barbie Shoes. Regular readers will know how small my clothes closet is. They will also know that I have an inability to buy clothes for myself. So these were a first - a shoe purchase for no reason, and fancy shoes at that!

So I paraded around the store in them and couldn't think of a single outfit I could wear shiny pinkish purple Barbie shoes with and decided to buy them anyway. And then - this is where the miracle part comes in - Monday afternoon happened.

Monday morning we met with our DJ to finalize song choices. And since we'd be doing nothing but sitting in the car, I thought it was a good time to test out the shoes. I figured I may as well assess the degree to which they would destroy my back. But on the way home we decided to hit the outlets to look for a bridal shower dress and some jeans for B. Two things happened:

1) I found a dress for the bridal shower that happens to look awesome with the Barbie Shoes!
2) I walked around on those stilts for 2 1/2 hours at an outlet mall on Memorial Day and my back was FINE!

I can't even walk around the office in my sassy orthopedic shoes without my back hurting, so clearly I'm meant to wear high end stilettos at all times.

Holy COW we rock!

Yeah, we totally do. I've been up since 7am and worked on wedding stuff straight until 5pm! B was plugging away at the centerpieces all day and finished the night with brinner (breakfast dinner) and a rockin' cocktail. Now it's time to begin the lengthy process of sealing the foils to the top of 160 wine bottles. They get sealed by spending several minutes under a hair dryer.



Also, the camera arrived. And boy are you in trouble, it's gonna be all pictures all the time from now on.

Dinners Together

We had another amazing evening around the dinner table last night. By now you know of my love of sitting at our dining room table with a bottle of open wine and laughing with my nearest and dearest. And last night was no different.

The evening began with drinks in the kitchen as B and I began preparing the meal. I'm so sad that our camera didn't arrive a day early because I can't show you how gorgeous our dinner was! We had grilled pork tenderloin that had been marinated in white wine, olive oil, lemon, garlic, rosemary, and chili powder, with a side of grilled asparagus, and another side of tri-color cappillini drizzled with a light summer sauce of olive oil, lemon, and herbs de provence. So decadent!

And to top it off, my brother's friends aren't arriving until much later than we thought today, so I took today off as well. So we'll cruise around town in my super sweet Chevy Impala rental car while our own car continues it's lengthy repairs at the garage. And once we go our separate ways tonight, B and I have to get our act in gear and button up some of this wedding to-do list.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'll be sure to bombard you with plenty of useless pictures as soon as the new camera arrives!

Blessed

I realized today after work that we are exactly one month away from the wedding. As we begin to plan the ceremony we thought it would be nice if we have a song playing as we light the unity candle - we saw this at the wedding this past weekend and it was really touching.

I emailed my cousin, bridesmaid, and full time musician, G, and asked if she would be willing to learn a song and if 30 days was enough time to do it. She wrote me back and said that she had been thinking about it already and wanted to offer to write us a song. She wants to interview B and I separately and use our responses as inspiration for the lyrics and the song.

I was so overwhelmed by how beautiful and special that will be, and it made me realize that this entire year has been exactly like that. From the beginning, we've just wanted a simple and wonderful event and all kinds of things have transpired from our friends and family that are making this day beyond our widest expectations. Truly, had we attempted to plan it this way, it never would have worked.

But I think that's the key - we didn't try to plan it this way. We just allowed things to unfold in a natural way and they did. "We are loved" as B said this afternoon. Last summer my dad and his wife offered to give us all of their homemade wine to use as wedding favors and then went though hell and high water to figure out how to legally ship them across the country, we found an amazing pastor to marry us through B's parents, my cousin figured out how to turn 100 wine corks into place card holders, my grandmother found and gave me the handkerchief that her grandmother made her for her own wedding, B's sister has designed everything you can possibly design, my cousin offered to both write and sing a song... the list goes on.

I have to tell you, I am a solitary person by nature and am not used to this group effort, it completely amazes me. And it amazes me even more that most of these people don't even know each other, but all of their ideas and love and generosity have been directed at us. It's going to make June 21st an entirely different and better day than we could have created alone.




My brother arrives from Oregon tomorrow! His friend is getting married near here, so he's in for the wedding. He'll be gone Friday and Saturday for wedding stuff, but we get all day tomorrow together, so that's very exciting. I miss my little guy! ("Little" in that way where he's five years younger, and about 6'1")

Huge Bummer

A few months ago when I was taking the car in for an inspection, the mechanic told me that there were some things wrong with the car that needed repairing. We finally got around to bringing the car in today for diagnosis and repair, but before that happened was this conversation:

B (to his coworker) - Hey Mark, can you follow me to the mechanic so I can drop my car off?
Coworker - Oh yeah, sure. I saw that someone slammed into your car this weekend, that's a terrible dent!
B - Uh... WHAT?!

Yeah. HUGE bummer. Somehow with all of the flurry of activity this past weekend during the wedding, someone (presumably a truck or an SUV because of the height) slammed into the side of our car. There is a huge dent where the panel above the tire is actually crushed in, I have no idea how we missed it.

So in addition to the $1500 of car repairs (oil, brakes, tires, suspension belt, etc) that occurred today, we now have an additional $500 deductible because someone was either drunk or careless and didn't leave a note. Booooo....

Loving the random wedding

B and I just spent three days down in PA for the wedding of B's best man's brother and it was awesome! I had never even met the bride or groom, but B was playing in the wedding, so we were invited to all the wedding events. I do know the parents, as does B, so it wasn't completely random. After this weekend I've decided that I love a random wedding!!

It was like having all of the great parts of a wedding weekend without any of the stressful parts. I didn't have to get a new dress or feel like I needed to look my absolute best, didn't have to have lots of small talk conversations with people I kind of know but haven't seen in a while, etc. We were total outsiders and it was great! We were like really friendly observers, rather than participants. As proof, I don't have one picture from the whole weekend. Of course, this is also because we still haven't replaced the camera, but you get the idea.

It was also wonderful because that family is so lovely and warm and welcoming - the type of people that you feel uplifted just by being around. Additionally, we got to see B's best man give his brother's toast, and it was the best toast I've ever heard. So now we're excited to see what he'll have to say about B!

Now it's the Sunday Letdown though - those moments where you remember that you have a life outside of fabulous weekends. Somehow great weekends away can make you completely forget you have a job, a house, responsibilities, to do lists, etc. I guess that's the whole point, but it's still an unfortunate realization.



Thank you to everyone who participated in the "What's Your Word?" poll, I loved reading the answers!! I feel like with one paragraph I have a deeper understanding of the people in my life, some of whom I've known for several years. It's really incredible.

Also, I did finally suck it up and order a new camera on Friday. After a loooong hiatus from pictures, I'll finally be able to add them to the blog again!

What’s Your Word?

On Wednesday I alerted you to our next poll. And since I’ll be gone for three days at a wedding, it gives everyone plenty of time to respond!

As I mentioned, I was reading Eat, Pray, Love and in it was a conversation between the author and her friend and they were discussing the concept that every city has one word that describes that city and the people who live there. One word that underscores the desires and intentions of the city… and if your own intentions match that word, you will fit in perfectly. But if they don’t match that word, you will never fully fit in and feel at home.

So taking this concept to the personal level, I asked you to think about the one word that drives you, that defines you. I already received two great responses on Wednesday, so I’ll repost the comments here to kick off the discussion. And if it makes you more comfortable, just post your word anonymously. With or without explanation, your choice.

My word is BEAUTY. A very insightful individual pointed out to me years ago that I look for the beauty in all things. This observation was so true that it stunned me. And it really does get to the heart of how I think and feel. I’ve told you before that when I walked into the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam and saw the passion with which the paintings were created, my heart stopped.

But it’s not just obvious, physical beauty that I seek out; it really is the beauty in all things and all people. It’s the reason why the simplest of pleasures make me joyful – sitting on the couch with my love, a good glass of Pinot Noir, laughing with family, the sight of the Adirondacks, etc.

I’m looking forward to getting some insight into your thoughts by reading about the words you’ve chosen. Have a lovely weekend.

One rag at a time

I read in an article years ago that it's the perfectionists in life who often have the messiest houses. As a perfectionist with an often messy house, this intrigued me. The article went on to explain that the problem is that if you're a perfectionist, you have no sense of "halfway" or "good enough."

If you don't have the time or energy to make your house spotless, then you just get frustrated and don't bother or you honestly don't think there is a solution.

It reminds me of a famous story from my childhood - I was a tiny redhead sitting in my highchair eating my bowl of cheerios. One errant O fell out of my bowl and instead of ignoring it, I accidentally spilled the entire bowl of milk and cereal in my awkward, 1 year old attempt to pick up the Cheerio.

Anyway. So I've told myself for about a year now that I just need to do "one thing a day" and the house will at least make progress and won't inspire panic attacks when someone wants to come over. But as I've mentioned many many times before, I just feel so tapped out and tired all the time (2 jobs, 1 car, wedding, etc.) that it really didn't seem possible.

But either we got busy enough or I got fed up enough that I was able to make the change. Starting about two weeks ago I would walk in the house, regardless of how tired I was from pilates and say "what one thing am I going to do before I go to bed?" And it's always been something very small and very simple - one load of laundry, clean the bathroom sink, write 5 more thank you notes, etc. And it's working!

I spent a few minutes getting tips on Fly Lady, but I wasn't obsessive about it and I didn't sign up for emails, just spent a few minutes reading through the website because I had heard that that was her whole cleaning philosophy. And sometimes I've just been doing the one thing and sometimes momentum kicks in and I do more, but at least it's something.

So I've kept it up for two weeks and I am genuinely proud of myself. I'm not often proud of myself, so this is a big deal. And it's not that I feel bad about myself, I just don't often feel like I've accomplished something that's really been a hurdle for me, and this has. This damn inability to straighten up has been my Achilles heel.

I'm still only two weeks in, so it hasn't become second nature yet, but like I said, I'm trying. And if you have any great cleaning tips, feel free to pass them along. The one that's been a big help, which I've done for a while but never implemented until now, is to have an abundance of rags. This way I can just reach below the sink and do a quick bathroom clean without all the fuss of finding rags and cleaning products - once you put in that many steps and that much thought, you've lost me!

Loving our wedding website

I have to tell you - online RSVP ROCKS!! If you haven't gone through the wedding process and think you will be one day, I highly encourage you to sign up for a website through Wedding Window and use the many great features, including online RSVP! I love it!!

We've already had half of our invitees respond and we only sent out the invites a week ago! Luckily, both of our grandmothers are web-savvy, so that helped. And for the 5 great aunts and uncles who aren't, we made homemade post cards printed on the computer that they could use. Seriously, I can't say enough good things about it. I hope our wedding guests use the rest of the website - like the local attractions - to plan their wedding weekend.

It's a long week this week... and it's only Wednesday morning. I think as the wedding continues to get closer and the weekends get busier, this might just be the frantic pace that life will stay at for a while. We have a 3 day wedding weekend in PA this weekend, my brother flies in for another wedding next weekend, then the weekend after that we're headed to Albany for a bridal shower and a dress fitting. See how nuts it is?

B is getting quite a fair amount of golf time in though, as all the weddings and trips home give him the opportunity to golf. And with three new clubs since last season, he's quite a happy man.


Future Poll Alert: As I was reading Eat, Pray, Love last night (a travel memoir), the author was talking about the concept that every city has one word that describes the heartbeat of the city. Ex: New York City = ACHIEVE. It made me wonder what one word people would use to describe themselves. I already have my word, but I won't tell you just yet. In the meantime, think about what your word would be. The word that underscores your life and actions and convictions. Is it Love? Fear? Sex? Escape? Communication? Try? Protect? Success? Simplicity? I'll put up the actual poll on Friday, but I wanted to give you some time to mull it over.

Happy Mother’s Day

Especially to my own wonderful mother and to B’s sweet mother, but also to the rest of the moms I know. I had a realization yesterday that I’m finally of an age where I know more mothers than just my own! I was on the couch reminding myself to call our moms and reminding myself of what we got them and then I read Feather Nester’s post and though “Crap! Feather Nester is a mom now! And Ouiser is a mom! And Toddler Tamer is a mom! Man… this is more complicated of a holiday than it used to be.”

So to ALL of the moms I know – Happy Mother’s Day!!

In honor of all the moms I forgot about and who have no cards waiting for them, here are some quotes that struck me as touching or funny...

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Friday Funny

B in the car this morning:

"Did you know that when I was little I hated the letter c? I thought it was really unfair that it got all of k's words. I'm not kidding, I really felt that way!"


What a sweetheart :) Today and tomorrow is Board Meeting madness, so there won't be much to report on this end. I've already received a ton of calls and emails about how much everyone loves the invitations, so that makes me very happy! Remember to RSVP online and also to put in your music suggestions!

Buh-Bye Hillary (almost)

Wow - rough day today. It's Board Meeting weekend in a few days and that's a big deal around these parts. And you know what makes it worse? When you look at your blog and see the really strange star-rating system that you never put there! I can't figure out how to remove it for the life of me and it's making me nuts. I've poured through every setting I can find and clicked the Help button, all to no avail. Grrr...

I am somewhat soothed by the political news today. I was really losing hope there for a while, with Clinton claiming she was going to pull out every dirty trick in an attempt to wrestle the nomination away from Obama. I had visions of Bush v. Gore all over again with small ruling bodies determining our electorate.

But alas, yesterday's election has sealed the deal. Even her most ardent supporters have finally come out and said as much. Now she just needs to come to terms with it. I hope she does it soon though because now she's just looking desperate. Even her speeches today looked like she didn't even believe her own words. I want her out so we can all rally behind one person and fight the actual opponent.

Well, it's 8:30pm which means bedtime is just around the corner! I need to be a good sleeper tonight so I can be a good worker tomorrow.


Update - Phew. I figured out the rating thing, the stars are gone. I mean really, when I write posts as riveting and worldly as this, do I need to open myself up to having people rate how interesting they are? That just seems like a bad idea.

Nothing that interesting

So the invitations are officially in the mail!! Even the last three of B's friends who I thought we would never get addresses for. I had visions of email invites three days before the wedding. But thanks to a mutual friend (who's a girl), we were successful - guys never have each other's addresses.

You should have seen me at the post office this morning. I weighed the invites at work and they were exactly 1oz, which is the absolute maximum it can be without buying extra postage, but I needed to confirm that our scale was accurate. I was also worried since envelopes aren't allowed to be uneven and there's a bow at one end of our invitations - that would have added postage as well. I was standing there staring at the machine chanting "No whammies, no whammies, no whammies...." YES! And the guy said the bow was just small enough to be ok.

So all was well and you'll be getting your in invites in the next few days. I hope you like them half as much as I do - I'm still obsessed with how great they are.

I have to work all day Saturday but B and I decided that we're having Wedding Sunday because there is a lot to figure out. Specifically, lots of music choices to figure out. And speaking of which, be sure to keep giving your opinions on music on the website!!

Opening Up

I saw this card today on Post Secret and was immediately struck by it. It's something I think about a lot, something I notice a lot, and something I fear will happen. It's the reason why I was so overwhelmed with joy when two weeks ago I had five of the most wonderful women sitting around my dining room table sharing stories all night before the bridal shower/bachelorette party weekend.

I feel like my consciousness of the issue may help to prevent it from becoming a problem, but it is true that as we age, we tend to slowly close up. You gain an awareness of the people around you and of the world we live in and it somehow trends us towards privacy and secrecy.

Even if you look to the recent past as to the person you were in college (almost ten years ago for me), when you were a young adult - I would bet that that person was more open than the person who is reading this today.

And it's not that I feel as though we should be shouting our secrets to the world (uh... unless you're writing this on a public blog...), but I think it's crucial to have a few people who you can really can be truthful with. It's the reason I've always been drawn to Feather Nester - she has such a wonderful honesty about herself and is unafraid to share her thoughts and questions and fears. In fact, I would say that all of the women I'm closest to share some degree of that.

When the psychologist in me looks around, I see a lot of loneliness. I see a lot of people who feel like they're alone in their current struggles or state of mind. And while sharing won't necessarily make the loneliness go away, it certainly helps. Just something I was thinking about this morning...

Catching Up

I haven't gotten as far through the wedding to-do list as I thought I would, but all of the invitations are put together, which is a lengthier process than you would guess. I got to the end and realized that I had forgotten to put those useless little tissues in the envelopes. But like I said, they're useless, and if you think I'm delicately jamming 100 tissues into 100 invitations, you're crazy!

Word from South Carolina is that all is well. Lots of hangovers and lots of golf - pretty much what you would expect. There is already talk of taking a later flight tomorrow morning. I'm very excited to see all the photos!

And now some feedback is needed from you... We have to meet with our wedding DJ in a few weeks and have all of our song choices picked out. So if there is a song, or several, that you would like to hear, please go to the wedding website and submit your request for me!! I feel like I always forget what all the good songs are until someone else reminds me, so your help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!!

Happiest Guy in the World

A few hours ago B called me from his air travels - he was sitting in first class seats, reading a golf magazine, and about to fly to his 3 day bachelor extravaganza in the Carolinas. I'm pretty sure that it's not possible for him to be any happier than that. Maybe if he had a scotch in his hand. (He got the first class upgrades thanks to Z's hubby who is flying with him and has millions of airline miles)

He and five of his friends are spending a lovely bachelor vacation on the beaches of the Carolinas (I have no idea where), in a rented house, on a island. There will also be lots and lots of golf involved. Not too shabby!

I'll be spending all night on Friday and most of the day Saturday catching up on wedding stuff - we're woefully behind right now, but I know I can get a lot done this weekend. And as B's sister pointed out today, there are only 51 days left!