So today was the first day back at work after the long holiday weekend. It was significantly busier than I had anticipated, but nothing too horrible. 5:30p rolls around, I go grocery shopping, make my way to the pet store, and then pick up B. at work. Fascinating day so far.
I pick up dearest who is ranting about work drama, and we are almost home when someone pulls out in front of me… slowly. Then he proceeds to stop at a green light. Then he drives, a word I use quite loosely, around the streets at half the speed limit while weaving between the lines. It’s a very drastic display, so we throw on our super hero capes and call 911. The driving becomes even more dramatic and shows no signs of improving, despite the 15mph we’re traveling at. So we tail him! Then he realizes that we’re tailing him and pulls into a neighborhood and then a driveway! So we hide out, pretend to turn down a street, wait for him to pull out and tail him some more!
Now we’re committed. We whip out more super hero gear and call 911 back to tell them that he’s no longer where we said he was and we’re on his tail. They keep us on the line and we’re giving them the blow by blow. Now Drunky McSnailsPace has turned into a parking lot, “parked” the car and continues to drive forward 5 feet… and backward 5 feet. After he tires of that, he parallel parks behind a lone car, gets out to see if he did a good job, and gets back in. Then he drives in very slow circles.
Finally a state trooper and the University police show up and we watch the whole display for 40 min. because the 911 guy told us to wait and give our statement. It’s evident that the driver doesn’t speak English based on all the impromptu sign language that’s occurring. But now we’ve been driving, and waiting, and playing super hero for an hour and we’re starving! It's so hard to fight crime, you have no idea. So we call 911 yet again, give our contact info and go home.
Upon pulling into the driveway, we notice that the back door has been opened. It’s a door we never use and one that couldn’t have been blown open by wind. Apparently the interested party reached the second set of doors and gave up because those were still locked. I’m calling tomorrow for the renter’s insurance that I’ve been meaning to get and we called our landlord tonight.
Seriously, crime fighting is hard. I'm off to wash our capes.
2 comments:
Hooray, Scarlet Lily! I like the name, BTW. You two are total heroes. Make sure you wash your capes in the gentle cycle and hang dry--how embarrassing to shrink them and fade them out....
I always wondered how Jack Bauer made it through 24 hours without ever eating or using the bathroom. At least you earned yourselves a good meal!
Significantly more interesting than anything I did yesterday. Significantly.
The most interesting (read: disgusting) thing I did was pick a dead bird up off the sidewalk at a friend's house so her dogs wouldn't get it.
You are way cooler than I.
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