Parenting is...

Having this conversation:


Me: Yeah, I have to take Everett to the doctor today. Yesterday he woke up with half of his eye bloodshot, but they couldn't get me in last night so we're going this morning. Of course, it's, like, 90% better today, so I guess I could cancel, but... I can't.

If I cancel then obviously he'll have some horrible, unknown, never-heard-of condition, called, like, Swamp Eye or something and I won't know until next week when his eye just falls right out of his head and then the cat starts playing with it. And then we'll be one of those horrific cautionary tales at mom's groups. Like, did you hear about that poor baby with Swamp Eye?!! Yeah, his eye was bloodshot and then they THOUGHT it was better and NEVER SAW THE DOCTOR and then that poor child's eye just FELL right out of his face. So, you know, don't ignore a bloodshot eye or else you'll be like THAT BABY.

Sister-in-law: Oh yeah, you have to go. He'll totally end up without an eye if you don't.

Me: Agreed. Am leaving now to pay my $20 co-pay to have them tell me my child's fine and definitely didn't have a baby stroke that only presents in the eye, and only for a very short time. $20 is a small price to pay to the gods of superstition.



  

Father's Day card

This was the Father's Day Card that Charlotte sent to her grandfather this year. All of our card projects are painting-based because it's her favorite art activity. I cut out a tie shape from one of the recent paintings, glued it to a card, and voila!




We try to do something handmade for every holiday. Here is a list of our past work:

Mother's Day
Easter
Valentine's Day
Christmas
Thanksgiving

First Train Ride

Charlotte mentioned to her Nona a few months ago that she wanted to take a ride on a train. And while it was probably a mere flashing blip in the wandering, scattered mind of a two-year-old, you can't make such a cool request of your grandmother and not have it honored. Especially when her own father was a lifelong railroad employee.

The initial plan was to find a little round-trip Amtrak excursion we could make, but then I stumbled across the Saratoga & North Creek Railway, a dedicated track and train used exclusively for touristy jaunts into the Adirondacks. It was more expensive, but definitely the way to go.

We bought tickets for the second level dome car, with full table-side meal service (breakfast on the way up and lunch on the way back) and huge bowed windows for premium sight seeing.

Taking an off-peak trip on a Monday in the summer was ideal planning. The dining car and the rest of the train were empty, meaning that Charlotte could take as many walks as she wanted without interrupting anyone else's trip.

Our half hour layover in North Creek basically just consisted of Charlotte burning off energy by running around the beautiful wooden platform, but technically there is a tiny little village we could have taken the "shuttle" (read: golf cart) to.

The only downfall worth mentioning is that because the rail cars are vintage, the stairs, hallways, and seats in the train are all extremely narrow.  When I first sat down in the dome car I felt a little claustrophobic, but it went away very quickly.

Additionally, we were very comfortable at our table for four with two adults and two small children, but it would feel very tight with four grown adults. (This could be worked around by purchasing four tickets with two separate transactions - then they'll sit you at two separate tables. You would only have your seats filled if the train was completely full. I'm sure this happens during leaf peeping season, but not in the summer)

 

Everett's Naming Ceremony

Super awesome E made from coffee filters & spray paint.  I LOVE it.

Everett's super fabulous Godparents. 

It ended up that the crazy child has the chill Godparents and the chill child has the crazy Godparents. And please know that I mean "crazy" in a completely awesome kind of way.

Everett experiences a proper rack for the first time and immediately falls asleep. 

That being said, I adore this picture.

Cupcake Kiss.

J-man goes in for the full, two-handed lean, while Charlotte plays it cool.

Guess who was in a mood by the end of the day?

 

Cheers!

Shape Monsters

I've mentioned before that Skype is a big part of our life around here. It's incredible what a difference it makes in keeping Charlotte connected to her far away family. She can't talk on the phone in any meaningful way, but she can sit in a chair and try to hand her grandfather candy, crayons, hand sanitizer, etc.

The attention span of a two-year-old is limited, so the amount of time she's actually in the chair is limited. There's a lot of dancing in the background that occurs. However, she's a huge fan of bossing people around, so I suggested that she have Grandpa draw some pictures for her (I have many memories of little sketches on napkins throughout my childhood by my artistic father). Here were some of the things she suggested.

 Mickey

Square Monster

 Triangle Monster

(my personal fav)

 

Circle Monster

(In retrospect, Circle Monster just looks like a really scary pig boy)

Father's Day

This weekend was late Mother's Day (Saturday) and early Father's Day (Sunday). We had company on Mother's Day and Everett's Naming Ceremony will be on Father's Day so we needed a double re-do on our holidays. Having grown up with a nurse (required to work every other Christmas) and having family on the west coast for a decade now, moving holidays around to fit our schedule is second nature around here.

Last Father's Day I was horizontal on the couch trying not to puke on the rug (thanks, Everett), and therefore B's Father's Day consisted of a very heartfelt high-five. Here was our re-do:

Ree's Eggs Benedict, with a little smoked salmon thrown in for B.

Father & son

Afternoon golf

Baby Feet

I love my babies.



   

Baby Animal Days

Charlotte's preschool class took a field trip (her very first one) to see the baby animals at a local farm and orchard. It's something we've done every year so it was good to continue the tradition.

* Here are our pictures from two years ago.

3 months old

Hi sweet baby!!!! Last weekend you turned three months old and I'm in complete awe about it. Every time I get you dressed I have a moment of genuine confusion as to why the 3-6mo clothes are fitting you, and then it sinks in and I still feel confused.

Thank god you're everything that we thought you would be. The yin to Charlotte's yang. She's all energy and flames and bursts of light, and you're like a little sailboat. Just peacefully riding the waves up and down and smiling throughout all of it.

I spent 9 months saying to you: You have to be calm. You have to sleep. You have to give me an easier delivery. I'm non-negotiable on all of it. Thankfully you're a good listener. 

Daddy predicted this years ago. When I was pregnant with your sister he said "I think we're going to have a girl first and she's going to be mouthy and sassy and fierce. Then we're going to have a boy and he's going to be emotional and soulful and calm." He's a smart one, that daddy of yours.

While I'm in no hurry for you to get older or reach your milestones or be less of a baby, I'm in a huge hurry to get to know you as a person. I learned from my first go-round with parenting that that is by far the best part. 

Right now you smile all the time, sleep through the night like a champion (since 10 weeks, with absolutely no effort on our part), don't like to be left alone, love to be held, and have no tolerance for dirty diapers. Except the smiling thing, all of these little indicators are different from the way Charlotte was as a baby.

Charlotte adores you and talks constantly about "when Everett is older" and how many things you'll be able to do together. Read books, play outside, go to the beach... her list is endless. My biggest wish (and parenting goal) for you two is to become friends. Genuine friends who respect, protect, and love each other. 

The blessing of a sibling is one that can only be truly understood once you're older and you look around and realize that no one else in this life will have a shared history with the two most important people in your life - your parents. No one will really understand when you pick up the phone and dial her number and say "Oh my god, mom is insane..." And then you'll finish that sentence with something that other people could understand on an intellectual level, but not on a gut level. Not the kind of understanding that produces the doubled-over laughter that only siblings can share in regards to their parent's own brand of crazy.

Because, like everyone else in life, daddy and I have a whole lot o' crazy. And one day I hope we can all sit around the table, glasses of wine in hand, and laugh and laugh and laugh about all of it. The way that Charlotte ran off to Europe to follow her crazy poem-writing boyfriend... the way that you secretly had a girlfriend for months before it occurred to you to tell any of us... the embarrassing way that daddy is willing to do Happy Dances in front of all your friends... the way that I always say accidentally inappropriate things and make you want to crawl into a hole.

We just started our life together as a complete family of four and there is so much awesome to come that I can't even take it all in.

Mother's Day Card

This the the Mother's Day card that Charlotte made for her two grandmothers. I helped her put her thumbprints on the card and envelope, and then I drew in the stems and leaves. Easy, personal, and springy. Perfect!




I've been trying to make it a tradition to do something handmade for every holiday. Here are links to some of our past work:

Thanksgiving sign
Christmas wrapping paper
Valentine's Day envelope of love
Easter card


  

The smallest of moments

Mommy, your eyes wet?
Oh, it's OK, honey, I'm just happy.
Your eyes wet?
Yeah, sometimes when people are really happy they cry. But I'm not really crying, my eyes are just a little wet because I'm happy.
HA!! THAT SILLY! YOU NO CRY YOU HAPPY... YOU CRY SAD! HAAAA!! SILLY MOMMY!


Silly Mommy.

I've never been one to be particularly moved by the big events in life.  I love them, and they're special, but they don't rattle my heart the way the little moments do.

I loved marrying your daddy, but it felt very normal and fun to do so. I feel the weight of his devotion at times with less fanfare. Like last spring when he knew (without a conversation) that life and motherhood had been frustrating and unhappy for me, so he surprised me (on a particularly horrific day, nonetheless) with the announcement that he had been spending weeks planning a kid-free get away to see my friends in Brooklyn.

Or when your brother was born... I didn't cry. I can't process such a life altering moment in a flash, I need space. So when he was a few weeks old and I looked deep into his eyes and told him how much we all loved him, and that whoever he wanted to become in this life was fine by me, and that I would make it my goal as his mother to help make that happen, and he gave me his first smile that nearly exploded his little cheeks, I wept the happiest most perfect tears possible.

So the other day when I was in the kitchen and I looked into the living room and couldn't find you, I decided to walk upstairs and see what you had gotten yourself into. I found you in the bathroom, with your navy blue flower jammies down around your ankles, half of your diaper off, and holding your little toddler tummy out of the way with one hand while you undid the tab on the other side of the diaper. I asked what you were doing.

And it was oh so nonchalantly that you told me that you had to pee... so you were gonna pee. And this is mind-blowing because I have done absolutely nothing to potty train you. Nothing. You've watched your friends at school use the potty and then decided that you wanted to do that too. So you have been.

But you've always asked me first, and you've never been able to unzip your jammies, and you've always wanted me to take off your diaper for you. But this is what you do, what you've always done.

It's been evident from Day 1 who you are. I had more than one nurse comment that they had never seen a newborn who was this aware and alert. You know exactly who you are and what you want and how you're going to get it. You have the ferocity of the lion that is your astrological sign.

Every single day you make it clear to me how self-reliant you are. In need of no one. Over and over and over I get little nods to the reality that "though they are with you, yet they belong not to you." I heard this quote long before I ever became a mother, but I never knew how many times I would have to repeat it to myself.

We are together, almost all the time, yet you have no desire to belong to anyone. It's so easy for me to picture you at 16, 24, 30, etc. All opinions and power and drive and hysterical and wild-hearted, because you're all of those things now. You came into our lives a fully formed soul and every day I hear the adult you whispering to the adult me, let go mom.

Flashback: Charlotte's 2nd Birthday

Last summer I took a several month blog hiatus while I was in my first trimester of pregnancy and also enjoying some family vacations. As a result, several milestones didn't make it on here. And since I use the blog as much for myself as an online journal as I do to connect with others, I'll be putting up several posts from last summer.

Charlotte had a Purple Bubbles themed birthday party to celebrate turning two. Whether it's actual bubbles, the bubble game on my phone, or "bubble water" (seltzer), there's nothing bubble-related this gal doesn't like.

Purple Bubbles cake

A mini cake for my mom, who shares a birthday with Charlotte

Cake pop favors

"Charlotte" bubbles banner in the background.

"2" sign was made from foam board, spray painted purple and then spray painted with glitter paint, and hung with a white ribbon (it was actually a bright purple, but it's hard to tell with the lighting here)

Table decorations, including a framed painting of Charlotte's

I ordered four 3' balloons online and had them inflated at the local party store.
Beware though, they didn't all fit in our SUV and my mom had to drive over and help with transport. Oops!

This photo is awesome because it's so out of character for my little stage actress. She was struck with a sudden case of shyness during Happy Birthday.

In the background I attached a picture from each month over the past year so everyone could see how much she's changed and some of the fun things she's done. They were attached to a 6' purple board, but there were too many photos for the purple to be seen. A slideshow of the photos is at the bottom of the post.

 The two birthday girls.
Charlotte is wearing her Giant's cheerleader outfit that Ouiser made her,
along with her Giant's pom poms that we got for her.

Our annual photo spot, painted by Giovanina.

Culinary Misstep

Me - Ugh. Something is wrong with this garlic bread.

B - Really? Mine tasted fine.

Me - (sniffs bread) Ugh, it tastes... off. Like plasticy or something? I don't know. Maybe my taste buds are off.

B - Yeah, maybe.

Me - (more bites) Ugh, no, something is wrong, this does NOT taste like the garlic bread we usually make. The garlic powder must be bad or something, I don't know.

B - Could it be the salt?

Me - I don't think so. I mean, you just used butter, salt, and garlic powder, right?

B - Yeah.

Me - I even thought it smelled weird when I opened the toaster over. (One last ditch effort at a bite) Ugh! I can't eat this. Something's wrong, it really doesn't taste good.

Realization that the garlic powder label looks just like another spice in

 our spice cabinet...  run over to the cabinet.

Me - BABY!! GAH!!! YOU MADE ONION BREAD!!!!!! GROSS!

B - What??? No I didn't.

Me - Yes! You did! Look! The ONION POWDER is at the front of all the spices. UGH! HOW did you not notice that, you ate TWO pieces!

B - Huh. Still tasted good!

Me - Blech! No, it didn't. I can't believe you made onion bread.

Easter

Hey, remember Easter? I know, me either. It was a while ago, but I still haven't balanced the whole kids/blog thing, so you're only hearing about it now.

We dyed eggs, which Charlotte approached with the precision and demeanor of an explosives expert. Next year we need to have about two dozen eggs available instead of six.

I love this one. "Dad, not now."

Then the next day was the Easter morning egg hunt (a HUGE hit), the Easter basket (fine, but not as exciting as the egg hunt), and Easter dinner with the family.

Since she's not old enough to know that Easter baskets usually contain candy, we went with a candy-free basket this year: Bunny ears, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, bunny socks, bubbles, and play dough. Not to worry though, she virtually had a dinner comprised entirely of Smarties since I didn't realize that the pile on the counter top was within her reach.