Shape Monsters

I've mentioned before that Skype is a big part of our life around here. It's incredible what a difference it makes in keeping Charlotte connected to her far away family. She can't talk on the phone in any meaningful way, but she can sit in a chair and try to hand her grandfather candy, crayons, hand sanitizer, etc.

The attention span of a two-year-old is limited, so the amount of time she's actually in the chair is limited. There's a lot of dancing in the background that occurs. However, she's a huge fan of bossing people around, so I suggested that she have Grandpa draw some pictures for her (I have many memories of little sketches on napkins throughout my childhood by my artistic father). Here were some of the things she suggested.

 Mickey

Square Monster

 Triangle Monster

(my personal fav)

 

Circle Monster

(In retrospect, Circle Monster just looks like a really scary pig boy)

The smallest of moments

Mommy, your eyes wet?
Oh, it's OK, honey, I'm just happy.
Your eyes wet?
Yeah, sometimes when people are really happy they cry. But I'm not really crying, my eyes are just a little wet because I'm happy.
HA!! THAT SILLY! YOU NO CRY YOU HAPPY... YOU CRY SAD! HAAAA!! SILLY MOMMY!


Silly Mommy.

I've never been one to be particularly moved by the big events in life.  I love them, and they're special, but they don't rattle my heart the way the little moments do.

I loved marrying your daddy, but it felt very normal and fun to do so. I feel the weight of his devotion at times with less fanfare. Like last spring when he knew (without a conversation) that life and motherhood had been frustrating and unhappy for me, so he surprised me (on a particularly horrific day, nonetheless) with the announcement that he had been spending weeks planning a kid-free get away to see my friends in Brooklyn.

Or when your brother was born... I didn't cry. I can't process such a life altering moment in a flash, I need space. So when he was a few weeks old and I looked deep into his eyes and told him how much we all loved him, and that whoever he wanted to become in this life was fine by me, and that I would make it my goal as his mother to help make that happen, and he gave me his first smile that nearly exploded his little cheeks, I wept the happiest most perfect tears possible.

So the other day when I was in the kitchen and I looked into the living room and couldn't find you, I decided to walk upstairs and see what you had gotten yourself into. I found you in the bathroom, with your navy blue flower jammies down around your ankles, half of your diaper off, and holding your little toddler tummy out of the way with one hand while you undid the tab on the other side of the diaper. I asked what you were doing.

And it was oh so nonchalantly that you told me that you had to pee... so you were gonna pee. And this is mind-blowing because I have done absolutely nothing to potty train you. Nothing. You've watched your friends at school use the potty and then decided that you wanted to do that too. So you have been.

But you've always asked me first, and you've never been able to unzip your jammies, and you've always wanted me to take off your diaper for you. But this is what you do, what you've always done.

It's been evident from Day 1 who you are. I had more than one nurse comment that they had never seen a newborn who was this aware and alert. You know exactly who you are and what you want and how you're going to get it. You have the ferocity of the lion that is your astrological sign.

Every single day you make it clear to me how self-reliant you are. In need of no one. Over and over and over I get little nods to the reality that "though they are with you, yet they belong not to you." I heard this quote long before I ever became a mother, but I never knew how many times I would have to repeat it to myself.

We are together, almost all the time, yet you have no desire to belong to anyone. It's so easy for me to picture you at 16, 24, 30, etc. All opinions and power and drive and hysterical and wild-hearted, because you're all of those things now. You came into our lives a fully formed soul and every day I hear the adult you whispering to the adult me, let go mom.

Weekend Wine

When I worked at a restaurant that was known for it's wine selection, the wine distributor told me once that there are weeknight wines and weekend wines. We were introduced to a great weekend wine last weekend. It's nearly $30 a bottle, but DAMN is it full bodied and smooth. Stag's Leap 2007 Merlot. Buy it. Amusingly enough, when we went out to dinner the night after we sat at home and drank the wine, the restaurant was offering it for the typical restaurant mark up of $62 a bottle.

The best decision we've ever made... excluding Charlotte

Up until last fall B and I were sleeping on the same full size bed I had from high school. The mattress got a very bargain basement upgrade when my mom tried to drive the original mattress down to me about five years ago and got caught in a torrential storm that ripped the "protective cover" to shreds and soaked the mattress.

Full size. Do you KNOW how small that is? Even for two skinny people? Not to mention a few cats and a toddler. But an upgrade wasn't a priority, so we kept on with our doll-sized bed. But then B started having horrible back pain every morning. I told him it was just him being out of shape and being a bad sleeper and it wasn't the mattress. Until we went to a wedding and spent the night in a hotel and he woke up with zero back pain. Hmmm....

I still made him try one more week on the bed just to be SURE and then we went bed shopping. My reluctance to upgrade was due to the fact that we're both of the "do it once and do it right" philosophy. Especially when it comes to beds.

The way I see it, no piece of furniture in your house is more important than your bed. You spend half of your life in your bed, you relax in bed, your kids and pets cuddle up with you on Saturday mornings in bed, you can have some quiet time to talk with your spouse in bed. Nothing is more important in your house than your bed.

So we went ALL OUT. When I called my brother and told him we went "top of the line" he started laughing his ass off because he knows what a frugal cat his sister is and that she has literally never uttered that phrase once in her life.

We went king size, with a top of the line mattress, and a beautiful bed frame with two drawers in the footboard. Hands down, the best $3k we've ever spent in our lives. It's been about seven months and at least once a week we turn to each other and comment about what a good decision it was.

And when Charlotte gets sick and wants to sleep in our bed? There's plenty of room for her to snuggle in and still have the cats at our feet and have everyone get a good night's sleep.

So if you ever find yourself needing a new bed and if you have kids or pets in your lives I highly advise you to go big or go home.

Underrated

Concert DVDs.

Years ago I went to a party where the hosts were playing a U2 concert on their very large TV and it seemed incredibly strange to me to own a concert DVD. Does anyone seriously sit down, put the DVD in, and watch a concert for 2 hours? As it turns out, no. But they DO provide a really great way to have some awesome background noise and some pass-through entertainment while you're cleaning the house, hosting a get-together, etc. You should find some good ones and put them on your Christmas list.

We currently own only two (Allison Krauss & Union Station and John Legend), but we definitely need more.

Baby, You Rock

Last night B walked in the door from work panting. And since we don't live on top of a mountain, I knew something was up. As it turned out, as soon as he got out of the car he looked across the street (a very busy 2 lane road) and saw a little girl on an out of control tricycle bombing down a hill into traffic and a frantic mom with a baby attempting (and failing) to catch her. So he dropped his stuff, sprinted across the street and stopped the runaway tricycle.

After recounting the story he started telling me about his first day of work and a funny incident that happened during his HR meeting. The story concluded with "... I was like Elle Woods on her first day of law school!"

Then an hour later we feasted on a salad, whole wheat spaghetti and some amazing homemade sauce we took out of the freezer.

Saving the lives of children, making Legally Blond references, and living up to our Italian roots with killer sauce - I have a rock star of a husband.

Explosions of Color

To celebrate the first day of Spring, last Friday one of my favorite design blogs (Oh Happy Day) posted these pictures of the tulip fields in Holland. Tulips are one of my favorite flowers and when I was wandering by the outdoor markets in Amsterdam seven years ago there were thousands and thousands of tulips on every corner. The colors and sheer abundance of them were overwhelming. I can't imagine living in a place where one of the main exports is flowers - they must have the prettiest dining room tables in all of Europe.

Signs of Spring

For the first time in months (years, it feels like) we saw some very discernible signs of Spring around here. The time change (AKA: The Light change) has helped a LOT. I don't feel like we're living in a cave anymore whereby we wake up to blackness, cook dinner in blackness, and have moments of snowy clouds in between. Both Saturday and Sunday were bright and sunny and warm-ish ALL DAY. And despite the fact that we haven't been home in several weekends and were gone Saturday from 9am - 10:30pm, we couldn't resist the sun yesterday. No chores were accomplished, no check marks on the Honey Do list, no packing or cleaning got done. Yesterday was devoted to increasing our Vitamin D levels. And all of the "not getting things done" from yesterday is giving me a little bit of Monday morning anxiety, but it was totally worth it.

We got some sandwiches from a local bakery and took them to the falls to have a little picnic with the fly fishermen and soak up the rays. After that it was coffee at the local hipster coffee shop that is SO trendy it doesn't even have a sign - I'm surprised you don't need a password to get it. Then we picked up a prenatal yoga DVD so my lack of movement doesn't turn me into a pregnant statue and then home to grill!

One of many fly fishermen that were at the falls yesterday.

Didn't I tell you that I had popped?! I mean - wow! This is dramatically different from even last weekend. I never got our "cute couple at the falls" picture, so we settled for the "boring, by the empty fireplace after we got home" picture.

B's grill creations of shrimp appetizers and chicken and veggie kabobs - so amazing!

Fall Excursions

B and I made the most of fall today and enjoyed the scenery. First was a trip to Iron Kettle Farm to see the pumpkins and the baby goats, then it was an impromptu gorge walk near our house. I'm trying to suck in as much fall as possible while I still can. It's usually three weeks of pure heaven and perfection, followed by six very long months of winter. It's important to grab the window while you can!

Snapping some quick mountain shots from the car.

B doing his best 'little kid at the pumpkin patch' pose.

B furiously rubbing his hands after being peed on by a snake. (Seriously, it's one of the worst scents I've ever smelled)

View of the reservoir from the top

View from the bottom
(The elaborate strings were put up by a local artist who was taking videos of the creek by zooming a camera down the line)

Livin' the domesticated dream

B and I had a little day of domestic bliss on Saturday. Seriously, it was adorable. Enough to make you choke a little. We started off at Lowes to look at grills and front-loaders. The grill is a wedding present and the front-loaders will be a necessity once we move, so we wanted to check them out now.

Since there are a whole multitude of both grills and laundry options, we figured that we should start the research now so that we can be ready to go once we get to Tennessee. The grills were actually pretty easy because there were only about three that were in our price range, but the front loaders were another story. SO many options and each had more buttons and functions than my Blackberry. I just stood there going "Really? Is this honestly necessary? Do I need to set the LEVEL of stain, as well as the level of spin, and the temperature of the water, and the color of the clothes, and how I'm feeling that day, and whether it's raining or not, and what I'm having for dinner before I can push start? Really??" I frequently think technology advances just for the sake of advancing and not because it is in any way genuinely helpful and this really felt like one of those times. It was a start anyway...

After that, as you saw, we went to the driving range. It was actually awesome, the range is up high and the views and the weather were amazing. I pulled up my little camping chair and my book and was good to go. I can't ride in the cart while B golfs (not allowed), so this was a nice compromise.

Then we hit up Wegmans for some yummy treats for our outdoor movie - the art museum in town shows movies on the side of the museum a few times every summer. "Yummy treats" for us always means the exact same thing for occasions like this: fresh olives from the olive bar, a baguette, white wine, and smoked Gouda.

We went to the outdoor movie last year to see Flash Gordon, but this time they were showing a movie we actually wanted to see (A Night at the Museum), so that was nice. We pretty much just moved in. We had blankets for sitting and blankets to cover up with, chairs for sitting and pillows for laying on, two different games to play while we waited, books to read, food to eat, two types of alcohol, and the aforementioned food. Of course, there was also the obligatory Red Bull that I drank on the drive to the movie so that I could stay awake. We all know about my inability to stay up past 9pm without Red Bull.

So, the movie was awesome and the day was wonderful. But more importantly, it made me remember that one day it will be a rare treat to have an entire day alone without anyone to answer to or take care of, it's just not possible to do when your kids are little. And while we both want kids, I know that there will be many things that I will miss and days like this are one of them. Because of that I deeply cherish these moments when they happen.

Dinners Together

We had another amazing evening around the dinner table last night. By now you know of my love of sitting at our dining room table with a bottle of open wine and laughing with my nearest and dearest. And last night was no different.

The evening began with drinks in the kitchen as B and I began preparing the meal. I'm so sad that our camera didn't arrive a day early because I can't show you how gorgeous our dinner was! We had grilled pork tenderloin that had been marinated in white wine, olive oil, lemon, garlic, rosemary, and chili powder, with a side of grilled asparagus, and another side of tri-color cappillini drizzled with a light summer sauce of olive oil, lemon, and herbs de provence. So decadent!

And to top it off, my brother's friends aren't arriving until much later than we thought today, so I took today off as well. So we'll cruise around town in my super sweet Chevy Impala rental car while our own car continues it's lengthy repairs at the garage. And once we go our separate ways tonight, B and I have to get our act in gear and button up some of this wedding to-do list.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'll be sure to bombard you with plenty of useless pictures as soon as the new camera arrives!

One rag at a time

I read in an article years ago that it's the perfectionists in life who often have the messiest houses. As a perfectionist with an often messy house, this intrigued me. The article went on to explain that the problem is that if you're a perfectionist, you have no sense of "halfway" or "good enough."

If you don't have the time or energy to make your house spotless, then you just get frustrated and don't bother or you honestly don't think there is a solution.

It reminds me of a famous story from my childhood - I was a tiny redhead sitting in my highchair eating my bowl of cheerios. One errant O fell out of my bowl and instead of ignoring it, I accidentally spilled the entire bowl of milk and cereal in my awkward, 1 year old attempt to pick up the Cheerio.

Anyway. So I've told myself for about a year now that I just need to do "one thing a day" and the house will at least make progress and won't inspire panic attacks when someone wants to come over. But as I've mentioned many many times before, I just feel so tapped out and tired all the time (2 jobs, 1 car, wedding, etc.) that it really didn't seem possible.

But either we got busy enough or I got fed up enough that I was able to make the change. Starting about two weeks ago I would walk in the house, regardless of how tired I was from pilates and say "what one thing am I going to do before I go to bed?" And it's always been something very small and very simple - one load of laundry, clean the bathroom sink, write 5 more thank you notes, etc. And it's working!

I spent a few minutes getting tips on Fly Lady, but I wasn't obsessive about it and I didn't sign up for emails, just spent a few minutes reading through the website because I had heard that that was her whole cleaning philosophy. And sometimes I've just been doing the one thing and sometimes momentum kicks in and I do more, but at least it's something.

So I've kept it up for two weeks and I am genuinely proud of myself. I'm not often proud of myself, so this is a big deal. And it's not that I feel bad about myself, I just don't often feel like I've accomplished something that's really been a hurdle for me, and this has. This damn inability to straighten up has been my Achilles heel.

I'm still only two weeks in, so it hasn't become second nature yet, but like I said, I'm trying. And if you have any great cleaning tips, feel free to pass them along. The one that's been a big help, which I've done for a while but never implemented until now, is to have an abundance of rags. This way I can just reach below the sink and do a quick bathroom clean without all the fuss of finding rags and cleaning products - once you put in that many steps and that much thought, you've lost me!

Huh?

Several times a day for the past week now I've thought to myself "Oh, I should write about that when I do my next post" and then I completely forget everything I was going to say. So, I'm sorry to tell you... I don't have much to tell you.

The wedding rings are in and the dress arrives in 2 weeks, so all is moving forward there. But we honestly haven't done that much wedding stuff lately - the break has been nice, but it also makes me suspicious, like I should run home and check my list.

We had a little mini ice storm this weekend, so we didn't go out much at all. We did make it to the grocery store, which allowed B to cook a very unexpected gourmet meal last night. One of the many, many things I love about B is his constant effort to make even the smallest part of life special whenever he can. So when he said "let's have steak" I was presented with a full meal of sirloin, a salad with homemade dressing, a baked potato, and a full "baked potato toppings bar" complete with home made bacon bits, and a bottle of Merlot. It was THE best way to end the weekend, and not at all surprising - this is what living with him is like.

If we had our camera - which has been at Cannon for months now getting repaired - I would have taken a picture for you. Oh how I miss being able to post pictures! :( Three helpful links that I'll leave you with.

• "Hillary's New Math Problem". After the losses in Ohio and Texas, I was feeling very very down about Obama and his chances and this article totally lifted my spirits. It's not projections, but a straight-up math analysis as it relates to the delegates and the 2 candidates. And if you're a huge super-nerd like B, you can link to the Delegate Calculator on Slate that B plays with every single night!
• Recycling Guide - This is a great article that Feather Nester put on her blog a few days ago and it's so interesting I want to make sure everyone reads it. Basically, by recycling things improperly (with caps still on, with food residue still in the jar) you are contaminating entire batches of recycling and as a result, they get thrown out instead. Very interesting - go read it!
• CPSC Recalls - This is something my coworker (who has a toddler) just told me about. You sign up to be on the Consumer Product Safety Commission recall list and you'll get an email whenever there is a recall. He said it was extremely helpful with the toddler toys, but has also been helpful with everyday items like small appliances and such. They don't spam you, they only send out an email when there is a recall

OK, I think that's all for now! I'm off to pilates.

Complexities

I think we usually assume that life and it's parts occur in a bubble. The protagonist is pure and the antagonist is evil - cut and dry. Although I knew that those simplicities were never true, I felt the depth of that yesterday. All day I felt so sad about Brian, and yet work went on. My whole family was frantically trying to talk to my brother yesterday to see how he was doing and when he finally called me back, his empty voice just broke me heart. I just wanted to beg him to move back to the East Coast so we wouldn't all be so far away. And the thing is - there is nothing anyone can say. Nothing. Both of my parents called me to say that they wished that we could be together just to sit in the same room and appreciate each other and laugh and give hugs. (To see Brian's obituary, which includes a photo and the place to give donations, click here.)

But as sad as I was, and continue to be, joy over the littlest thing still has a way of sliding in. As we were cooking our dinner of sesame coated salmon and Thai noodles with peanut sauce, we got a knock on the door. "Maybe it's a package." The delivery people often confuse the two doors to our house and when there is a package of ours at the other door, our neighbors knock on the front door as a little signal.

I knew what it was since a charge recently showed up on our credit card statement - the wedding invitations. Now, the relevance here is that I LOVE paper. I love it. If I could be paid to make cards and wrap presents, I would be in blissful heaven. I get this catalog called Bags & Bows which is nothing but present-wrapping material and I tear it open when it arrives. So anyway, to me, this package was a big deal.

So I tore it open, put together one of our photo invitations, tied the specially colored ribbon that B suggested we buy aaannndddd... Perfection! Perfect! It's so beautiful that I can't stop looking at it. I love it. Love!

So I'm blissfully happy over something as simple as our invitations and similarly sad and depressed at the tragedy that is effecting people I love. I have the same urge that my parents were talking about - I just want to get in the car and drive to Plattsburgh to give my sweet Adam a hug. But truth be told, I take comfort in the fact that life is not segmented in bubbles of good and evil. I think that's what keeps us grounded and allows us to keep moving forward.

* A very big happy birthday to my brother who turns a quarter century today and also to B's sister who turned 27 yesterday *

Validation

Maya Angelou said once that more than anything else in this world, we as humans seek validation. More than love, and shelter, and wealth, and fame, we seek to know that someone else is going through what we have been through - that we are not alone. I have never forgotten that quote because it tricks me every time. It tricks me because when ever I feel upset or frustrated or annoyed, I remember the quote and think to myself "it wouldn't matter who else was going through this! I'm still angry/frustrated/annoyed at the situation!" And then, almost inevitably, at some point I find out that I am not alone and someone near to me who I love and trust has, in fact, gone through something very similar. And then I think... "See! Yes! It sucks, right?! I knew it! Thank you dear friend!" And the thing is, it's not enough to have someone say "many other women have gone through this very thing, I'm sure." You actually have to talk to the person, trust them, hear their story, and then see just how not alone in your thinking you really are.

So that's what happened yesterday. Not many people wrote in the public comment section of the blog, but I got some very lovely private emails. Wonderful and reassuring emails about how they too didn't have the greatest experience while wedding dress shopping, or how they felt luke warm about their dress until they actually wore it, about how the wedding was about so much more than the dress, etc, etc. So thank you for that - it really did make me feel better.

On that note, I'm leaving you with a video for Post Secret. Post Secret is a community art project started years ago where people send in their secrets on postcards and the man, Frank Warren, posts them to his website every Sunday. I'm not a crier, but this video is the one thing that can make me cry every single time. It's honesty and hope is so overwhelming, it will bowl you over. My greatest hope in life is that I do one project, one business, create one situation for the world that is as therapeutic and honest as Post Secret is.

Dashed Expectations & Unexpected Pleasures

Update on the arm numbness: on Friday I was still having symptoms so I decided to call my doctor. She thought that it may be a pinched nerve so she prescribed me a low dose of Valium to take for the weekend to see if it improves. Other than antibiotics and an inhaler once, I can honestly say that I've never had any kind of prescription medication. I'm bad with medicine - I have an incredibly sensitive body and I usually just don't like to take any. But aching and half numb arms are a pretty big deal, so I acquiesced.

I'm supposed to take three a day for two days and see how things feel on Monday. Last night I took two to jump start myself like they recommended and that jut put me straight to sleep at 8pm. Today I only took one at a time and it provided quite a nice feeling if I'm being totally honest. Just enough to soften the edges of life and make things a little less worrisome and over-thought. So anyway, thanks to my new chemical friend, I'm spending the weekend without too much pain. (Although I will say that when one of the doses wore off, my neck was absolutely terrible - but I'm optimistic that it's a temporary issue due to the increased work hours)

Anyway! Thanks to the new job I woke up this morning and had to remind myself three times that it really was Saturday and I really didn't have to go to work. It was the strangest feeling. I had a little chat with myself and forced myself to leave the messy house just where it was and use this precious time to escape our work stress and spend some time with B. Just as we were in the final stages of getting ready for a lovely hike and picnic, the sky opened up and exploded in downpours. It was so disheartening. We had finally found time to spend together and had finally picked what to do, and it all got washed out.

But you know what can really save the day? A lovely meal. And thanks to a lunch out at a Greek restaurant and an invitation for Jaynes Ave and her family to come over for dinner, we had two! We didn't want to clean so we just moved the party into the "man room" and it was great. Cucumbers and hummus, grilled burgers, and homemade ice cream sandwiches from the chocolate chip cookies I made the other day. Great food, great friends - they'll always save the day.

Garden Progress

The mini-garden has been coming along nicely so I thought I'd show you how everything looks. Here is a shot of the overall garden (this is what it looked like just two months ago!). We just staked the brandywine tomato plant because it got so tall (on the left), and we put a little growing cage around the sugary tomato plant because it's very wiry and needed lots of tying up. The onions are growing oddly (details below) and the tomatillo (on the far right) has turned into a full on tree, though no tomatoes just yet.

Apparently there were actually four onion plants in that one little plastic container because we have four onions. I'm not sure why they're so far above the surface, but I spoke to a much more seasoned gardener and he told me to just leave them alone, so I will.

Here are the super cute and tiny sugary tomatoes! They only showed their face in the last week or so.

And here is the very large banana pepper. We were waiting for it to turn from light green to yellow before we actually picked it. Uh... not that I would even know how to use it in a dish once I pick it, but we'll deal with that later. Any chance that you guys have a recipe that calls for a banana pepper???


Miles says "If you refuse to unpack from your trip, then I'm just going to sleep in your suitcase!"

Sicko

I'm back on the east coast but without a computer (typing this after hours at work) since B. is down in DC on a business trip. A normal red eye flight is bad enough, but a red eye where you don't even get to sit with your fiancee, have to sit in a middle seat, and then have to drive to DC with your boss an hour after getting home is pretty much as bad as it gets. Luckily he returns on Friday night and doesn't have to give up his weekend. He has put a ban on seeing anyone or having any social functions that don't directly relate to golf. I told him that there was a lot of cleaning to do, so I was fine with that plan.

When we were out in Washington we all went to see Michael Moore's latest film Sicko. It was funny, horribly sad, shocking, touching, and interesting. Definitely my favorite of his films so far. In the past he has tended to be a little too inflammatory for my taste, despite the fact that he was shining light on issues that needed to be talked about. But in this movie he really does just let the facts and the interviews speak for themselves without unnecessary editorializing. I don't want to divulge too much of the movie here, but if you have the chance please, please go see it.

Two things from the movie that really affected me and made me think long afterwards:

1) People who work for our health insurance companies are given rewards - actually financial bonuses - when they can turn down enough claims to make the company a profit. This is opposed to doctors who work in England (and are paid for by the government) who are given bonuses when they can increase the number of their patients who are healthy - by encouraging preventative medicine, adequate health care, etc. The doctors are encouraged to do what they wanted to do all along, which is make people well. It was such a simple and shocking difference. Can you imagine a health care system where you go to the doctor immediately because you are never concerned about finances, and have faith that you will get all of the tests and treatments you need without having to fight for them?

2) In the part of the movie where he is comparing our health care system to that of other countries, he sits down with a group of Americans living in France to discuss the basic differences between lifestyles. Not just health insurance, but overall wellness. None of the information was new to me, but again, to be reminded of it was so intense when you're sitting in the theater comparing everything they speak about to life in America... the French eat less healthy, exercise less, and yet still live longer than we do, the average amount of vacation time is 7 weeks with an extra week the year you get married for your honeymoon, the doctors make house calls, all mothers are provided with a baby nurse for their newborns, etc, etc, etc.

Setting aside the entire issue of health care, it was such a piercing reminder of how hard we are on ourselves here... how much we work, how little vacation we take, how rarely we just celebrate the joy of life and family and wine and dancing. I feel like most of the time even when we are vacationing or celebrating, we're not doing it with full force. It's not full bodied celebration, just going through the motions. It was a lovely reminder to not take it all so seriously, celebrate with all that you've got, and just relish the beauty that surrounds us.

Laughing and laughing...

One of the things I love most about my family is that everyone has a great sense of humor and thoroughly appreciates a good story or a teasing comment. In fact, my brother consistently holds the title of "funniest man on the planet" (for me) for his dry, smart ass remarks.

Last night was the most perfect night for that. My dad and his wife D. prepared great food and wine and had their friends over for a wonderful celebration. After we showed the ring and retold the engagement story, I sat at a table with B, my brother, and my dad and did nothing but laugh for hours. Then we listened to a Dane Cook comedy CD for a few minutes and nearly cried with laughter, and then kept going with more stories. Lots of stories about all the crazy things that happen with cars, that seemed to be the theme for the night. Seeing people get hit by cars, pushing cars in your slippers for 5 blocks to save the $50 towing fee, getting hit by blind old ladies, etc. On and on... It was a truly joyous night, we couldn't have asked for anything better.

View from the back porch

Practicing for next year

This is what your dishwasher looks like when you're the co-presidents of your wine club!

Wedding Wednesday

B. and I picked our photographer!! Yeah! We absolutely love her. Not only is she incredibly talented, but her customer service has been unbelievable so far, which is not something I can say for all the other photographers I either emailed or met with. Also, she's very confident and will be great at giving art direction. We sat down to meet with her and didn't have to struggle to come up with interview questions, she told us everything we would want to know and more. I hope I can have half as much confidence in the rest of our vendors as I have in her. I'm an over-thinker anyway, and since the photos are so important to me, with anyone else I would have felt distracted with concern that they were getting all the right shots. But I won't have that at all with her. I wasn't able to grab any of the photos from her website to show you, but click here to link to the site.

Also, I think we have the bridesmaid dresses figured out as well! I was so convinced that would take forever, and also convinced that I didn't even want to think about it until after I found my dress. However, great friend and bridal party member M. sent me a link to After Six and I fell in love with so many of their dresses, as well as their Bordeaux color. It looks like just what it sounds like, a deep wine color. With the whole wedding taking place outside I wanted a color that would really pop and all of the girls in the wedding have beautiful dark hair, so they'll look amazing in this color. Not everyone will be in the same dress, so you can see some of the possibilities here, and here, and here, and here, and here! Be sure to click on the color to change the dresses to Bordeaux so you know exactly what they'll look like. And there are even more possibilities than what I've listed here.

I'm so thankful that everything seems to be falling into place in the most wonderful way. No stress or drama and everyone involved has been so supportive and loving and creative. To all of my wedding girls and anyone else involved in other ways, thank you so much for your support, it's truly overwhelming to someone who's as stubbornly independent as I am :)