Friday, February 26, 2010

Life at home

I'm learning that being a stay-at-home mom is an incredibly schizophrenic experience. When I was working in the kind of job that pays you in money instead of love, my days usually only had one mood to them - good, bad, stressful, boring, etc. At most, maybe the afternoon was better than the morning or vice versa. But that's a world where you're pretty much in charge of your own day. Not so much when your boss is an infant, as it turns out.

It can be a really bizarre experience to feel like your the luckiest and happiest, and then the most annoyed and stressed out, person on the block all in the course of a day... or an hour. Not that Miss C is a difficult baby, she's actually incredibly and unbelievably good, but when anything goes amiss it causes her not to sleep. And if you're unlucky enough to know what long-term sleep deprivation does to a person, you know that when you're in that permanently weakened state, it doesn't take much for things to get to you.

So I'm really hoping that the waking up at night due to teething, schedule changes, the full moon, etc, can settle itself soon, but despite that I'm really loving our little life together. The good days are so damn good that the only other time my days were that good was when I was doing the writing business. I love that I get to watch her grow, I love being her primary care giver, I love that we've been able to squeeze those pennies enough to make all of this possible, and I love that I've been able to dip my toes back into the world of creativity and art (more on that later).

My friend sent me this photo because she said it reminded her of me and Charlotte and it's so fitting that B started wailing with laughter when he saw it because it really is a shockingly accurate portrayal of the two of us.

1 comment:

Ouiser said...

trust me. i know what you mean. i am incapable of not smiling the second i hear S wake up every morning, even though in my head i'm saying, "what the hell? can you please sleep another half an hour?"

being a mama is living in a world of contradiction all the time.

i can have the best morning ever with s, but the afternoon can make me want to bang my head against a wall repeatedly.

you might just need a couple of hours to yourself. go to a bookstore that has coffee and wander all alone for awhile. it will help. a lot. besides, i always find that my patience is greatly restored and i appreciate s more when i get a little time away from everything.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...