I love having a sibling. Not the least of which is because of conversations like these:
Me: I'm just calling to remind you that Mother's Day is Sunday, so do something for mom.
Brother: Oooooo. OK. What are we gonna get her?
Me: Well I got her a XXXXX today. (edited since she hasn't received it yet)
Brother: Wha? Well that's not a very good joint gift!
Me: Yeah, it wasn't meant to be. I saw something I thought she'd like and I bought it.
Brother: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's not how this works! I'm out here, where dad lives, so I took care of his Christmas presents, now it's your turn to take care of the parent on your coast.
Me: So we're doing this by coasts now? Rockin. I assume you'll take care of Father's Day then.
Brother: WhaHoHoHoHoooo, I'm just saying that's how we did it BEFORE. We'll take care of Father's Day when it comes, let's not jump to conclusions.
(side conversation with B)
Me: Oh, and B wants me to tell you that he's a father now so he's expecting something on Father's Day.
Brother: Ohhhhh SHIT! And you're a MOTHER now! Damnit! This is getting WAY too complicated.
Me: Should I just take care of my own gift too? Just buy something nice for myself and let you know how much it was?
Brother: Ha! That's a great idea. You can just take it out of the money you're sending me for dad's Christmas presents. That's classy, right?
Me: Oh, I'll go you one better. I'm gonna buy myself something worth MORE than what I owe you - maybe some nice jewelry - then I'll just send you an invoice and you can send me a check for the difference.
Brother: Nice. But really, what am I gonna get mom?