Halloween - 2 yr old style

Admittedly, trying to take a 2 year old trick-or-treating is just an inherently dumb idea. They're little, they don't understand the whole ritual, it's near their bed time. But they have no appreciation for the possibility of how darn CUTE they can look all becostumed (new word), standing at someone's door.

So, thus it goes. Now to be fair, the parents of all the toddlers (ourselves included) could have approached the situation much much better - gone at least an hour earlier, and picked a neighborhood route that was a nice small circle and not one that was a straight line, necessitating a very long and cranky walk back. Live and learn.

This is how it went:

Phase 1 - I do NOT want to leave the house where we're having pizza b/c these people have super awesome toys to play with!!!! Mom and dad have to bribe me with candy to even put my costume on or get out the door - stuffing Starburst in my face so we can go have some family fun, damnit!

Phase 2 - OH MY GOD THAT WOMAN GAVE ME A PIECE OF CANDY!!! I will NOT walk or move or think or function until we open it RIGHT NOW AND EAT IT. Lots of parental pleading for walking and promises that MORE candy lies ahead ensues. This goes on for several houses until we luck out enough to have someone give us a bag of popcorn (pre-packaged, not homemade) that we can dole out to her to keep her moving.

Phase 3 - She gets it... and gets a major sugar attitude to go along with it. Now it has clicked and there is NO TOUCHING OR HERDING OF ANY KIND! All attempts to keep her away from cars or out of streets or gardens and onto driveways is met with her commanding us to STOP.TOUCHING.HER. This culminates when my DIVA of a daughter - like she's f*cking Whitney Houston - honest to God tells me "Don't Touch the Ladybug!!" "THE LADYBUG???"  Are you KIDDING ME?!

Apparently, she's now the Queen of England and refers to herself in the third person, as her alter ego, and isn't to be spoken to unless directed... like she's so special that no one is to make eye contact with her. I must not have read her rider closely enough before departing. Little shit...

Phase 4 - THE WALL. All 5 toddlers simultaneously hit the wall. As mentioned, we didn't trick or treat in a circle and we are pretty far from where we started. This leads to melt downs, pleas to be carried, etc, etc. Double unfortunate - by the end of the night we were one parent short which meant that B ended up carrying two toddlers for several blocks and couldn't move by the end of the night.


So, not totally successful, but we tried. Like all things parental, we learned about the kinks on the first go-round and will be better prepared next time.