"We should be able to text 911... you know... just in case your hiding from a psycho serial killer and can't talk.
"'White Chocolate Milk' Tell me I didn't just blow your mind. I know I just blew your mind"
"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to build a beach."
"Here's how u end the Twilight saga in one scene... Bella and Edwards smoke a blunt. Edward gets the munchies. No more Bella. The end"
"All right, so you know how people do the air quote thing with their fingers? What if people cupped their hands and put them up by each other when saying something in parentheses..."
Click over and have a chuckle...