Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Thoughts on the Time Magazine cover

So by now you've no doubt seen or read about the Time Magazine cover story. There have been articles and Facebook comments and, I'm sure, many many conversations about the 3 year old breast feeder. And they're not exactly supportive.

But we don't need a boob in the mouth of a 3 year old, on the cover of a national magazine, to be unsupportive. We do that all on our own, every single day, about every single thing. Judgement has become a national past time. More than that, it's become our default. And when I say that, I in no way count myself out of that accusation.

And I get it. We judge because it's easier to judge than to understand. And we do it because it actually helps us define our own beliefs and lifestyle choices. If we can condemn what we don't choose, then we can reaffirm what we do choose.

But we have to stop.

Seriously. This shit HAS TO END.

Every single person, regardless of race, and status, and wealth, and job title, and geographical location, and age, and gender, and EVERY SINGLE DYNAMIC struggles to get through the day. Their struggles may be different form yours, but they're there even though we can't see them.

We have to start trusting that no matter how stupid or weird or irrational or just different people's life decisions look from the outside, that they're doing the best they can. We're all just doing the best we can.

When was the last time that you saw someone do something with their money or their child or their life or their job and and trusted their decision? Gave them the benefit of the doubt that it was the right thing to do... for them.

And how often do we hear ourselves or our family members or our friends say gracious words out loud? Words that indicate that we're not god, so we don't have the whole story... that maybe we should just shut our critical mouths and move on. Hardly ever, but we need to.

This is hard. Life is hard. And if we're doing it right it's a marathon of new experiences that we haven't had before and are just navigating our way through the best we know how. And it wouldn't be nearly as hard if we knew that we were being supported and trusted by each other.

We want that from others, so let's try harder to start giving it to others. One day, no judgement. Catch yourself every time it happens. And then when you do that, do it again, for another day. And then when you do it more, start talking about it more.

No one is talking about this and we need to. Imagine how much happier we would all be if we could make this shift.


Ouiser said...

I'm totally on board. However, I will still judge the person in a car smoking like a freight train with the window hardly cracked and a backseat full of children. I will judge them, and I will not feel bad about it one bit. I'm just saying...roll down the window at least!

Sarah Berry said...


There should be a caveat that says "as long as you're not hurting anyone"

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