Parenting is...

Having this conversation:


Me: Yeah, I have to take Everett to the doctor today. Yesterday he woke up with half of his eye bloodshot, but they couldn't get me in last night so we're going this morning. Of course, it's, like, 90% better today, so I guess I could cancel, but... I can't.

If I cancel then obviously he'll have some horrible, unknown, never-heard-of condition, called, like, Swamp Eye or something and I won't know until next week when his eye just falls right out of his head and then the cat starts playing with it. And then we'll be one of those horrific cautionary tales at mom's groups. Like, did you hear about that poor baby with Swamp Eye?!! Yeah, his eye was bloodshot and then they THOUGHT it was better and NEVER SAW THE DOCTOR and then that poor child's eye just FELL right out of his face. So, you know, don't ignore a bloodshot eye or else you'll be like THAT BABY.

Sister-in-law: Oh yeah, you have to go. He'll totally end up without an eye if you don't.

Me: Agreed. Am leaving now to pay my $20 co-pay to have them tell me my child's fine and definitely didn't have a baby stroke that only presents in the eye, and only for a very short time. $20 is a small price to pay to the gods of superstition.