Maya Angelou said once that more than anything else in this world, we as humans seek validation. More than love, and shelter, and wealth, and fame, we seek to know that someone else is going through what we have been through - that we are not alone. I have never forgotten that quote because it tricks me every time. It tricks me because when ever I feel upset or frustrated or annoyed, I remember the quote and think to myself "it wouldn't matter who else was going through this! I'm still angry/frustrated/annoyed at the situation!" And then, almost inevitably, at some point I find out that I am not alone and someone near to me who I love and trust has, in fact, gone through something very similar. And then I think... "See! Yes! It sucks, right?! I knew it! Thank you dear friend!" And the thing is, it's not enough to have someone say "many other women have gone through this very thing, I'm sure." You actually have to talk to the person, trust them, hear their story, and then see just how not alone in your thinking you really are.
So that's what happened yesterday. Not many people wrote in the public comment section of the blog, but I got some very lovely private emails. Wonderful and reassuring emails about how they too didn't have the greatest experience while wedding dress shopping, or how they felt luke warm about their dress until they actually wore it, about how the wedding was about so much more than the dress, etc, etc. So thank you for that - it really did make me feel better.
On that note, I'm leaving you with a video for Post Secret. Post Secret is a community art project started years ago where people send in their secrets on postcards and the man, Frank Warren, posts them to his website every Sunday. I'm not a crier, but this video is the one thing that can make me cry every single time. It's honesty and hope is so overwhelming, it will bowl you over. My greatest hope in life is that I do one project, one business, create one situation for the world that is as therapeutic and honest as Post Secret is.
1 comment:
No matter what age you are, validation is something we all search for even if we don't realize it at the time. I have found that some times that validation comes in the form of something we read or see. I'm glad you have good friends who you can turn to. You have been that person more than once for me, it's wonderful to be your mom and your friend. love ya Mom
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