Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Interview

To distract our super gloomy household from the ridiculous NY Giants loss to the Browns last night, I'm going to pretend that game never happened, move forward, and give you some Tuesday entertainment. Here's an interview I conducted with B before Eli went back to his 2006 ways of being the interception master.

Hard Hitting Interview With My New Husband
1) I mentioned briefly in a recent post that I had no idea what the hell yogurt was (then Billy clued me in in the comments section). That confusion came directly from you when you asked me in an exasperated voice one day in the kitchen “What the hell is this stuff?!“ and my brilliant reply was “Dairy.” What are your current feelings on yogurt?
I love yogurt. It’s the best snack ever after cheez-its and pickles.
However, I don’t accept any explanation anyone has ever given me regarding the origin of yogurt. Clearly its not a dairy product. You want to know why? Because milk and fruit don’t go together. Not in my head they don’t. You’re trying to tell me that my strawberry flavored super-yogurt from Wegmans comes from a cow? Come on. Get real.
2) You seem to have an abnormal preoccupation with lasers. What’s that about?
Lasers are awesome and if anyone doesn’t think so then they are wrong. Name one other invention that can be used to do all of the following: Point at things, Eradicate invading aliens, provide awesome visual impact at a White Snake concert, allow me to watch my DVD of the NY Giants Super-Bowl every day, and most importantly, etch my wedding date into my wedding ring thus being a constant reminder of when my anniversary is. ‘Nough said. Lasers rule.
3) People frequently tell me that my beauty is blinding and my wit is unmatched. How do you deal with living with someone like that on a daily basis?
Its hard.
4) Is there anything I can do to change your mind on your refusal to allow cinnamon coffee in our house?
Sigh.
No.
I hate Cinnamon. I hate everything about it. I hate the smell of it. I hate the taste of it. I hate that my stupid boss drinks stupid cinnamon tea every freaking day and often leaves his cup lying around the office making everything smell like sickenly sweet cinnamony hell. I hate how if you put cinnamon in anything, including as a smell in my house, it dominates everything around it. Here’s where cinnamon is allowed in my life: Donuts. Here’s where it is not allowed: Everywhere else, especially in my coffee.
5) Who is your favorite teen rocker? It’s Avril Levigne, isn’t it?
Avril does rule. She’s so “edgy” and “tortured”. Anyone who can come up with the following lyrics is a rock god;
“Hey hey, you you, I don’t like your girlfriend.
No way, no how, I think you need a new one.
Hey hey, you you, I could be your girlfriend”
Pure genius.

6 comments:

GreenLight said...

Your interviewing technique is firm, but fair. Certainly, I've never known anyone to insinuate themselves in someone else's head so completely. You stay away from me with your probing interviews!

Ha ha. I wrote "probing"...

billy said...

Brills...And I understand how hard it is for B to live with your beauty and wit, Joe has to do the same with me. :)

Ouiser said...

i am laughing out loud, and s wants to know what is so funny.

i'm glad to know of b's insane aversion to cinnamon. i used to think he was cool...now i'm not so sure.

Valerie said...

Oh my goodness, this is so funny! B's dislike is even funnier to me since my mom was here. She loves, loves, loves, cinnamon coffee. So, when she was here (including at S's party) not only did we have cinnamon coffee brewing but we had cinnamon creamer, too!
Come to think of it, didn't I see B sipping on a nice big mug of that cinnamon coffee?

scallan said...

I agree with B, cinnamon is gross. No cinnamon pancakes for me (Kreuzer's specialty).

die Frau said...

I love cinnamon. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, weirdo B!

And...lasers were originally made with JELL-O. Tell me that's not cool?????

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