Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Say it Plain
Yesterday Ouiser and I were emailing back and forth and chatting about Mother's Day, and I told her that the whole reason I had had such an awesome Mother's Day was because I had asked for one.
I'm sure there are thousands of keys to being happy, but I know for a fact that one of them is just stating what you need. I learned years ago that nearly every movie, television show, and book about relationships gets it wrong and confuses people. No matter how loving, your spouse isn't just going to know what's going on in your head and what you need, so you need to take the life reins and say it plain.
Last week I said to B "honey, don't forget that I LOVED Mother's Day last year and it was basically my new favorite holiday, so I want it to be really special! Not present-wise, I don't care if you spend money, I just want to feel loved!" And that's what happened.
I hear people, myself included, complain all the time about what they wish their partner or friends or family would do or say or feel, etc., but so few people are just saying it in plain language.
"I'm really stressed right now and I just need you to support me" ... "Don't worry about (insert random event or holiday), it honestly doesn't mean that much to me" .... "I really want to be totally surprised and swept off my feet for my birthday!" ... "I miss you, let's get together more" ... and on, and on, and on.
Try it. Stop getting disappointed or annoyed or mad and just say what you want in a simple, straightforward, and kind way.