So we went for round 3 of wedding dress shopping this weekend in Albany. B and his dad went golfing, while my future mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and cousin-in-law(??) went dress shopping with me. It was so sweet of them to come along and give their opinions (which I really needed) on what felt like hundreds of dresses, and I really am so grateful for their involvement and kindness, but I have to confess... it sucked. Not "sucked" in that way where you're sick and in bed for a week and feel like you want to die. But sucked in that way where you're "supposed" to enjoy this process and you're just not. Nope, not fun, don't like it. And maybe it's just the sheer pressure: "Oooooohhhhh..... wedding dress shopping!! Oh my god, how fun!!! You'll remember this for the rest of your life... you'll never forget that moment when you just step into that dress and everyone starts crying and you'll just know. It's the dress that everyone will stare at as you walk down the aisle, and it will be in pictures for the rest of your life." Well, as desperate as I am to live in that Kate Hudson, romantic, wedding movie scene, I'm finding that I don't live there. This must be how people who don't want kids feel. Everyone really expects and wants you to feel that "thing" and you're just not feelin' it.
My basic problem: I feel like just about all of the dresses are pretty, and none of them are amazing. That's what it comes down to. I don't get that "wow, I'd love to write you a check for $1000 for this dress" emotion. Now I understand why rich people have their dresses made. Because there are also lots of dresses where you think that if you could just change this one thing (and it's always the one thing that isn't changeable, I'd love it). So, I'm stepping back from then entire process. I have the pictures, and I just want to sit and picture our wedding, and picture the location and the day and how I want to look and see if any of the possibilities fit into that scenario. And if not, well than I'm just wearing white jeans and I'll have a Billy Idol wedding.
On a happier shopping note, B's mom and sister took me shopping on Sunday for a far less stressful shopping trip and I did 2 things I never, ever, ever do and they were SO fun... I bought clothes that aren't practical and I paid full price!! Again, clothes issues, I know! But I can really tell you that I don't ever, ever walk into a store and try things on unless they come from the sales rack. But they "forced" me to spend money on myself and also offered to buy me some of the clothes as a birthday present, so apparently I just need some strong-armed Italian women dragging me around in order to enjoy clothes shopping :) I have two cute outfits for my October birthday trip to the city so now I'm actually looking forward to the trip without even the slightest bit of stress. (Did I mention on here already that the main 30th birthday celebration is being postponed until October? September is just too crazy and I wouldn't enjoy myself in NYC, so we're waiting until my big work projects are over and then we're headed down.)
So it was quite a shopping filled weekend, but despite the setbacks, it was lovely to see B's family. In addition, we got to meet Reverand S. - a family friend of B's who will probably be the one to marry us. She was great and it means that we at least got one wedding thing accomplished this weekend!
3 comments:
Dress shopping can be really fun in a "I'm a pretty princess!" kind of way, but don't feel weird if you're not loving it. You will find a beautiful dress, but it may not be a "Eureka!" moment.
Also, I feel physical pain when I buy clothes that are not on sale.
I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I feel that the bottom line is this: a dress is just a dress. It's one part of a material whole. The "amazing" isn't found in the dress, but in the girl wearing it, and in what's happening while she's wearing it standing next to "that" guy.
We love you, and hope you remember that ultimately you are what carries the "amazing" (even in jeans and a tshirt!).
xoxo
Did I pressure you? I didn't mean to! I'm sorry! I forgot to add that yes, I did try on a ton of dresses and hated some of them. As for the one I chose, no birds came twittering down on my shoulders, no sunbeams broke into the dressing room. I just realized I kept comparing the rest to that one. You'll find something you like and will look beautiful in, so don't worry about it. And everyone else is right--you could wear a white bathrobe and you'd still look radiant (and feel comfortable).
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